on Authenticity

How often do you feel compelled to write about your morning at church?

This is no indictment on church, or our view of that weekly appointment, or anything in particular. Just wondering, 'How often do you want to tell everyone about church?'

I can't remember the last time I wanted to call a friend mid-service and say, "Wish you were here!" But yesterday's service was very good. So good, in fact, that I'd like to replay it every morning for a long, long time.

Dr. Larry Lindquist, a visiting professor, preached on Authenticity referencing 1 Thessalonians 2:1-10. He started by teasing us about our habit of telling white lies. We laughed quiet, introspective laughs under our breath as he hit close to home. And then he went full bore into the text and into the deep recesses of our hearts (if we let him).

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After church I finished reading, Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life, subtitled, "How to finally, really grow up."  It seemed esoteric to me, and more than any book I've read recently, it made me want to write my own text bearing the same title.  Maybe the book wasn't so esoteric. Maybe I just decided that we don't need to find a higher meaning in the second half of life. Maybe each & every day should stand as a testament to who we are, and what we are, and why we are.

On Old Stuff

My clients and I walked up to a non-descript 1960’s rancher, like all the others in Lakewood. As we reached the door, we noticed it was open. A hand-scrawled sign read, ‘When Scoochie barks, reach down and say, “Hi Scootchie.” She will like you. She’s a nice dog.’

Sure enough, Scootchie barked, and we did as instructed. And, as promised, Scootchie liked us and welcomed us into the living room. We noticed that it was cluttered, filled with blue & white ceramics and pillows and whatnots.  The blue & white theme permeated the dining room and kitchen and bedrooms. The place was awash in clutter, dated but happy clutter. 

A tiny old woman called out from the bedroom hall, “Just a moment, please.”  And then she appeared, her wig set perfect, her make-up fresh, her dress, spotless. She smiled with warmth and gratitude as she welcomed us in.

We observed the essentials – original windows, original counters and cabinets, ancient appliances – and after passing through the kitchen we descended a narrow flight of stairs, into the dark basement.  We found a switch and turned on an ancient fixture. The soft glow lit a thousand square feet of yesteryear – macramé and wood crafts and piles of Highlights magazines.  At the far end of the basement, an ancient sofa faced a wood burning fireplace. Heaps of stuff – board games and baby dolls and photographs crowded the space. 

We spoke in hushed tones, noting more essentials: dated wood paneling, dated bathroom fixtures. And then we returned upstairs and thanked the gracious owner.

I’ve probably seen 500 cluttered ranchers, homes filled to overflowing with the stuff of yesteryear, just like the one we saw today.  I use to think it unfortunate that a family member or friend hadn’t de-cluttered for Grandma. I remember thinking, “She would have a happier, healthier life, if someone would redecorate this space.”

But today, I look at an object in my own home:  an old custom frame that holds four formal portraits, one of each of my children. The portraits were taken the autumn we purchased this house in 1992. Twenty years ago … and now, I think of taking it down each time I dust the frame.

Our kids are grown and gone; and the little girl with the big red bow has long since blessed us with a grandchild. But as I dust it, I remember my excitement when I first picked up the prints from the photographer. I remember the choice I made when I selected the custom mat and frame. The years melt away as I remember the heart of a young mother, so happy & proud as I unwrapped the brown paper from the finished project, as I stared in awe at it’s singular beauty, as I looked with laughter as the kids played in our unfurnished rooms, as I hammered the nail in that particular place.

There’s life in old stuff. Smiles and laughter and warmth in old stuff.

I hope my kids never redecorate my space.
 

Happy Valentine's Day

 “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. 

"One knows from daily life that one exists for other people; first of all for those upon whose smiles and well-being our own happiness is wholly dependent, and then for the many, unknown to us, to whose destinies we are bound by the ties of sympathy. 

"I remind myself that my inner and outer life are based on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving. 

Only a life lived for others is worth living.”       ~ Albert Einstein

Another Perfect Monday

Today was one of those absolutely perfect Mondays.  I woke up late, the dentist’s bright light was on the fritz and the hygienist was NOT happy. A *really* important electronic file was corrupt, a title company hadn’t paid the 2011 tax bill at closing and the Denver Treasurer was placing a lien on my client’s newly-purchased home. All that before 9:00 a.m.

And then, my girlfriend Stacey emailed the final drawing of our bike ride’s new logo. Isn’t she pretty?

Suddenly, I remembered all the things that are absolutely right in my world. Like the world’s greatest biker-chicks, my friends who like to ride together & race together & plan one of Colorado’s coolest summer events together. Life Is Good!

I Will

"As you go through this day, keep an eye open for the random beauty that surrounds you. When it crosses your path, stop what you are doing and relish in the fullness of that beauty.  Let it seep into the crevices of your soul, filling the empty corners with its warm light." ~unknown

What do you think?

I saw this photo and a smile crept across my face. I laughed.

The thought of Fried Kool-Aid does that, at first glance. It makes you laugh! “What’s fried Kool-Aid?” The mind tries to conceive the thing. “And how do you fry it?” The mind attempts to conjure the process.

And then my mind said, “Can’t be done.”

Unbelief.

I’ve watched a man fry ice cream, so why did my mind STOP at the idea of fried Kool-Aid?  In that moment, I was reminded of two favorite quotes, one by Henry Ford, the other by Napolean Hill. Both strike at the heart of what we will and will not accomplish with our lives, based on our beliefs.

“Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” – Napolean Hill 
“Whether you think you can or can’t, you’re right.” – Henry Ford

And so today I’m making a conscious effort to say “Yes!” to those things that seem, at first glance, impossible, and to creatively consider the ways that ‘impossible’ things can be done.

It’s going to be a wonderful, adventurous day.

You Go, Girl!

My 28-year-old daughter moved to London this week, following on the heels of her younger sister, who moved to South Korea in 2009.

It's no small thing when you quit your job, sell your car, rent your condo and move to a foreign country. There's the short-term packing and the long-term shipping, the landlord's insurance and the work visa and too many good-bye's ... and ... fear & trepidation.

I'm so proud of my daughters. They're following their hearts! They're letting go of 'the known' and hanging on to 'the unknown'. I am so proud of them, I'm tempted to believe they're filled with strength and courage. But we know ~ from our own experiences, we know ~ that we're filled and then emptied, re-filled and then re-emptied in the days and seasons of our lives. So I pray again, dear Lord, please fill my girls with the strength and courage for today. oh ~ and fill their hearts with joy ~

His wise, gentle smile

Once upon a time, long long ago, I expressed my frustration to my Dad. “It’s not fair,” I argued. He smiled his wise, gentle smile. “Life’s not fair, Kathie.” That smile didn’t lesson the hurt, and I continued my plea. He listened to my argument: Every Saturday, my older brother Ed was assigned the job of mowing the front yard, which paid $7.00. And every Saturday, I was assigned the job of mowing the back yard, a much smaller yard, which paid $4.00. Thus my brother was growing exponentially richer than me. And it was tearing me apart!

My father relented and gave me the occasional privilege of mowing the front yard. As a result, I was occasionally, temporarily content with my lot in life.

As a child, I didn’t consider the possibility that my father had reasons for dividing the chores unequally. Life isn’t fair. In every age, in every culture, in every circumstance, life isn’t fair. And a wise father never creates a false reality or a false hope.

Today, 40 years later, I look back to that moment with my own wise, gentle smile. I’ve raised four children, a son and three daughters, and I know the complexity of parenting. It’s not easy to guide your children safely from infancy to adulthood. But we try.

Today is Dad’s birthday, and I’m taking him to see the Lincoln film. I think he’ll enjoy Daniel Day-Lewis’s complex protrayal of the president, the husband, and the father, as Lincoln strove to act with wisdom in what must have been extraordinary trying times. I’ll ask Dad what he thinks, and he’ll share insights that escape me. And I know my Dad. He’ll listen and nod and smile that wise, gentle smile.

East of the Sun

Each morning I drive about 20 miles into the city. It is often a lovely drive, despite the traffic. Today the landscape was breath-taking, with a rising sun to the East and a setting moon to the West, snow-capped mountains and shimmering foothills and a hazeless city spread before me. I could see fifty miles in every direction, and it was beautiful.

As I travelled, Charlie Parker with Strings played "East of the Sun (and West of the Moon)" on Jazz89. I've often enjoyed listening to Charlie Parker, but never so much as this morning. It was a perfect morning.

Joy

Have you ever forgotten a favorite book, only to have it reappear as you reorganized your things? That happened to me today.

I stumbled upon "JOY", a book that I had purchased on a clearance shelf in 2011. It's a compilation of joyous quotes by M.H. Clark. It's the sort of book that you can read through in five minutes, though if you read with your heart, it might stop you dead in your tracks for long moments, or long hours, or long days ...

The first page announces, "Prepare for Joy". The next page contains only a brief quote, "These are the days of miracle and wonder." - Paul Simon

The second page announces, "Believe in Joy" - and the proceeding page says only, "Remember the feeling as a child when you woke up and morning smiled? It's time you felt like that again." - Taj Mahal

And on it goes ... taking you on a path of discovery. The final page announces, "Be Joy."  But no quote follows. That's my favorite part. The cliff-hanger ending, where the reader is exhorted to take all of the dynamic, inspirational quotes and create joy in her world.

The beginning of the new year is such a busy time in my business and personal life. I scarcely have time to read through a five-minute book of quotes. But I'm inspired to not only observe and be thankful for the joy that happens upon my path, but to thoughtfully and intentionally create joy and sprinkle it there for others.

If Everybody Did

Today I met several smiling people, each wishing "Happy New Year" as we passed on the sidewalk, passed through doorways, passed through life. It reminded me of Jo Ann Stover's 1989 classic, "If Everybody Did" - except the opposite.

Stover's little book introduces children to the concept of "cause and effect" by stretching their imaginations to visualize what would happen if everybody did things like pull off a bud? ... jump in mud? ... slam the door? ... stomp and roar?

Each negative behavior is seemingly innocent, until "everybody did", and then the illustrations make it clear that if more than a few people acted in these ways, the results would be disastrous.

I thought, as I smiled at another happy face, that I'd like to commission an artist to illustrate, "If Everybody Smiled," because as each stranger shared their grin, my day grew brighter and brighter. Smiles don't cost a dime, don't require any investment of time, and yet have a contagiously positive impact upon the recipient.

Now, as I turn off the lights on January 2, 2013, I am filled with gratitude for the handfuls of happy people that passed my way today. I can still see each one of your smiles ~ though you were strangers ~ and each was a unique blessing to me. Thank you.

Welcome to My World, 2013

Aaah. January the First.

Each January is welcomed with so much ceremony. People the world over make resolutions to change for the better. I'm one of those people. I think it's a good exercise to stop & reflect upon where you are and where you are going. Each year, I get a mid-winter high from the process of looking forward and imagining the possibilities in the year to come.

This year is no different. I've written business goals and personal goals, everything from Anatomy to Zoology. I've written each as a SMART goal, a goal that is Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Time-Bound. And I've written each goal with gratitude. I am so very grateful for the seemingly endless opportunities in my life. In fact, the only goal that isn't SMART is this:  Gratefully choose to say "No" to the many interesting & fascinating projects that I don't have time to accomplish in 2013.

Here's to the 365 days before us. May we each strive to make the most of each day, and may we thankfully receive the innumerable blessings that are showered upon our lives.